Variations on “it’s not the fall that hurts/ it’s when you hit the ground” – congratulations, you’ve just won the Caesar award for most unoriginal line ever written! Collect your record deal on the way out, if you’re actually capable of walking and talking simultaneously.

Despite this vacuum of originality, intelligence or talent, the song remains despicably hummable and could well repeat the success of ‘Jerk it Out’. The real question here, though, is whether anyone will be able to stand a whole album of this nonsense; making it in the middle of summer when everyone’s taste seems to go mysteriously to the dogs is one thing – late October is less well known for repeating clichés or little-boy humour over cheeky guitar riffs.

A press release likening Caesars to Lennon and McCartney is either laugh out loud funny, or a soberingly accurate description of popular music these days; if this is the best we can manage maybe it’s best to hit the ground after all and hope for reincarnation when Caesars have been summarily forgotten.

(2½/5)

Not The Fall That Hurts

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