Well it’s so nice to read Afsheen’s editorials and giggle at her making googly eyes in her weekly photos (Oh, you love it! – Afsheen) so I was thoroughly surprised when I read that she got some shiny decks. Hmm, I thought, that’s very unlike Afsheen, the train of sleepy thoughts took me to images of her DJing in a club but then all confusion was dispelled when I realised that last week’s editorial was written by someone else! What a novel idea, I thought and so I decided to give it a go.

Afsheen tends to list everything she had done the week before and have a grumble about stuff we all find annoying, so this should be easy…as I, like the lovely editor, enjoy the delights of a soft duvet and the luxury of a lie-in as an antidote to life’s little annoyances – like the bastard bus drivers who wield their power over the rest of us and do not open the door, but instead recline back, have a fag and leaf through The Sun while we try to stare them out and will them into moving the bus before our bladders burst or our toes drop off. I do enjoy being from London (sometimes), you never really meet anyone who is actually from here, most are form ‘up north’ somewhere (I usually stop listening when I don’t recognise the name of the place they’re from).

Any way, last weekend I did the ‘touristy’ thing with a mate from Reading (only known to me for its festival) and showed him around London. We were culture vultures in the truest ways, cramming in The Schweppes Photographic Portrait Prize 2005 at the National Portrait Gallery, the Russian festival at Trafalgar Square, a browse through the ICA bookshop, a look around the Proud Galleries (where we ogled at lovely pics of Marilyn Monroe for ages though I’m sure he was just staring at her boobs!), a walk by the river, a pint at the NFT and a cup of tea at the National Theatre.

Then I headed to the Dublin Castle in Camden for some drunken dancing with our very own Hungo. (Hungo dances? And he does Karaoke too?! Is there no end to this man’s talents?? – Afsheen) Now I am limping due to new boots and stupid booze-induced athletic strutting on the stage to the sounds of the Rolling Stones.

On Monday I continued my culture vultureness (you’d think it was a New Year resolution or something) and went to the ICA for a lecture on the image of women in the media. All very relevant you would think, but actually it was a bunch of feminists slagging off men. Well OK, not quite so bad but they did seem to see some kind of sinister conspiracy plotted by men who are trying to control women through their portrayal in the Daily Mail. Well, in my opinion it is an evil newspaper and no one should read it any way and those who do, should not take anything as fact!

On Tuesday, I went to see My Luminaries (pronounced My LuminAIRS by the folks at Camden’s Barfly who were extremely grumpy if you hesitated for more than 5 seconds and held up the queue). Unfortunately, due to a change in the order of the line-up (apparently four bands were playing that night) and my unwillingness to hang around for ages, I only stayed for the first group who kept pulling up their trousers and showing the audience their saggy pants. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll catch them headlining Brixton in about 6 months or something – not the pants band, I meant My Luminaries. 

The rest of the week was spent quietly waiting for my sore feet and bank account to recover in order to start next week with a bouncy step and more than a fiver in my pocket. Well, I think I’ve said my bit and I hope you found it as enthralling as it was for me to write it. Maybe normal service may resume next week...