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Arctic Monkeys: Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not (Domino)  
By Matthew Hirtes  
Monday, 23 January 2006

You know you’ve made it when there’s a kiss and tell about you in the papers. When your private life is deemed sufficiently interesting to be made public, you’ve got it cracked. Which given the amount of tabloid exposes about the love life of Steve Coogan begs the question: why isn’t the comedian the most famous man in the world? But I digress.

They may have recorded the fastest-selling debut album of all time, but the Arctic Monkeys didn’t truly arrive until the publication of the revelations of 20-year-old Sheffield blonde Lauren Bradwell. Lauren first dated drummer Matt Helders before hooking up with lead singer/guitarist Alex Turner. She recently emerged as the band’s muse.

As Bradwell told the News of the World: "We dated when we were in the fourth year at Stocksbridge High School in Sheffield. He was a lovely lad and I still have feelings for him now. But this older boy charmed me away. I was impressed by stupid things, his age and the car. Now I wish I'd stayed with Alex."

Turner himself concedes memories of Lauren formed the inspiration for the smash-hit ‘I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor’. A single whose lyrics include the confessional: "I wish you'd stop ignoring me, because it's sending me to despair, Without a sound, yeah, you're calling me, and I don't think it's very fair, That your shoulders are frozen (cold as the night), Oh, but you're an explosion (you're dynamite)."

On Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not the Artic Monkeys, Latin name Chavus Simia, narrate tales of northern life, replete with stories of underage drinking and teenage fumbling, delivered in an accent that’s more Sheffield steel than cut-glass. Even if you don’t listen to the words, the titles of the songs give the game away. Monikers like ‘Riot Van’ and ‘Red Light Indicates Doors Are Secured’.

According to band mythology, the AMs formed after Alex and fellow guitarist Jamie Cook received guitars for Christmas. They spent 2003 honing their skills by memorising songs by The Vines and The White Stripes. Elements of which you can hear on an album that largely races away at breakneck speed, along with other influences such as The Jam, The Clash, and The Smiths.

They say that in life only two things are certain: death and taxes. Well, as far as the Arctic Monkeys are concerned, I can think of at least two other inevitable developments. 1) They will go on to sell shed loads of records. 2) The gutter-press will offer ever-greater wads of cash to loosen the tongues of any groupies out there.
(4¾/5)

Release Date: 23 January 2006
Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not  Check for Live Dates
 

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