Last week also saw the advent of our shiny new message board/forum and it’s ice cold! Really, if you haven’t checked it out, please do. Say what you like, slag us off if you really want to or just join in the other debates fellow posters have started. There’s no need to register so you can post as yourself or anonymously but any spamming and I’ll be very cross.

You know, very recently a gentleman told me I had “a beautiful name” and another (who just happened to be a fine hottie) exclaimed, “Afsheen, you are totally awesome! I am spellbound”. Gosh, I’m blushing! I’m telling you, it was worth queuing for over 90 minutes (on my own) to meet the cast of Green Wing at an in-store signing last Tuesday. Mac, Guy and ooh, Boyce with his crutches (who winked at me cheekily – I’d like to believe it was because I was wearing a black mac buttoned up) were signing copies of the box-set of the first series. Which I already had but not on me on the day because I only discovered the news of their appearance in that morning’s Metro newspaper. I rarely pick up that newspaper, mostly because it’s not available at my local train station but only at underground stations.

Any hoo, to cut a very long story short, I popped along to the signing and bought the DVD again – well, I couldn’t go back home to retrieve it! And as I didn’t have my camera on me, I had to make do with my camera phone, which is really pants but hey-ho, it doesn’t matter when I got my copy personally signed by the three guys and fortunately my mate, Lisa bought my DVD off me so all’s well that ends well. I have awful luck with instore signings though – always end up towards the back of the queue with burly security guards barking at you to “only get one thing signed” and “be as quick as you can for photos” all because the greedy tosspots at the front of the queue have been hogging too much time. I tried to get a picture after but a security guard yelled at me to get moving. How rude! *sigh* It was over so quickly too – just a flash but at least I have those personal messages scribbled inside the sleeve, and aw, Stephen Mangan (Guy Secretan) even acted out his daft dance/head-shake for me from one of my favourite scenes. I am quite sad, aren’t I? No, don’t even answer that, though I’m sure you will shake your head in disbelief to learn I bought this. Alright, I rock!!!

Well, it is always a delight to get feedback from what readers would like to see more of on uk-fusion, and it’s no surprise many want the flames of the advice column ignited once again. To remind yourselves, click here. Bet you have been pining for more (or to snigger at other people’s misfortunes). Fear no more, as we have a new face to answer your tales of woe and misery.

Following in the footsteps of Surgeon Shaikh (cough!), Dr Charles Lake, Matron Mojo and Dr Dickos, please give a warm welcome to Miss Morals (though ‘Saucy Scorpio’ is probably a more accurate description of this naughty minx). She’s ready and waiting (not like that!) to help you overcome that difficult dilemma whether to bitch-slap that cow who stole your boyfriend or to get a restraining order for whoever keeps breathing heavily down the phone before hanging up. Just email your problem to the lady and don’t worry, your identity will be kept private. In the meantime, why not marvel at her beautiful visage…like butter wouldn’t melt, eh?