Last weekend I visited my fifth Canarian island: El Hierro. Regular readers will know that I live in Las Palmas. The other islands I’ve been to are Lanzarote, where I sampled some of the best wine I’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting all in the name of journalism (honest!), La Palma, to celebrate my wedding anniversary, and Tenerife where I stood on the terraces of the island’s football team and hurled abuse at the referee and opposing team all in the name of journalism (honest!).

I made the trip as one of 16 ambassadors – well that’s the line we used to mollify wives and girlfriends. For the football team I’ve started playing for, Alcaravaneras, were invited to play an end-of-season friendly against an El Hierro team. Arriving at the airport on Friday afternoon, we were delighted to find our hired minibus resembled the A-Team’s van. From which Earth Wind & Fire’s ‘September’ became an unlikely favourite on the stereo system.
 
After checking into our stunningly-set accommodation El Sitio, http://www.el-sitio.de/index1eng.html, which translates as The Place, we headed off to stock up at the supermarket with some cigarettes and alcohol before enjoying a pre-match cerveza. Then we rolled, quite literally, into the stadium. As you entered the arena, you could see the sea. Looking back behind you was an impressive mountain range.
 
After a more comfortable win than the 5-3 scoreline would suggest, we enjoyed a barbecue with our hosts. Then we hit some bars before ending up at a beachside nightclub called La Terraza. After very little encouragement, I ended up impersonating Bez on the stage. Before the whole team joined me. The party continued back at our apartments, with a guitar mysteriously appearing before our goalkeeper did his best David Brent impression. In Spanish.
 
Saturday morning brought a largely liquid breakfast for my good self, the vegetarian options were severely limited, well that’s my excuse anyway. Then we rode the A-Team van down to La Piscina Natural, a natural swimming pool within the sea constructed by fortuitous rock formation.
 
More drinking inevitably followed before we enjoyed a final team dinner. Then a surprise rock gig at a local bar. Before, you guessed it, a return to La Terraza.
 
Sunday and a vaguely reluctant football squad made their way back to the airport. Well, there’s always September to look forward to. And the showing of the El Hierro video diary at club headquarters. Which, unlike this editorial, will be an uncensored chronicle of events.