The variety of internet Java animation websites has increased rapidly over the last few years, meaning more and more content is becoming available to either view directly on your browser’s window, or downloadable to view in an application.

The increased compatibility and connectivity of modern browsers, the improved speed and bandwidth of Broadband internet and the demand for sharing vast quantities of new media have contributed greatly to the number of web based Java clips and movies currently available.  It is becoming easier and easier to find a site with fantastic quality images for free and share these with family, friends and colleagues.

I’ll ask anyone reading this to cast their minds back to the Dilbert era of desktop computing. The little geek who would pop up on your desktop and you’d perhaps play a little game or just watch in vague amusement before Windows 95 crashes and eternally destroys your PC?  Remember those days? Of course you do. 

It was a hideous little point in time where no one could copy music or reinstall an operating system without corrupting both the hard drive and your faith in modern technology.  Why does it have to be so difficult?  Why can’t it just WORK?  For the hundredth time why can’t you behave more like a calculator and less like a Spectrum.   But thinking about it, the main reason a Spectrum would crash is because you’d copied over a copy of a copy of an Iron Maiden album lent to you from a friend because you needed to play Dungeons & Dragons until three in the morning. Sorry, did I say ‘play’ - I meant ‘load’.   Actually, I’ll correct myself, in the 80s it was cool to load.  Loading was the future and computers rocked. But the mid-90s?  Remember those days in front of your desktop tower sitting until three in the morning trying to print of an essay with an iota of fondness?  Of course you don’t.

Unfortunately it appears some which treasure those moments are still in the industry, hence the likes of Happy Tree Friends available to buy and copy, finally on systems that work. But why the fuck did they bother? The technology is here and my computer hasn’t crashed for years. Entertainment like this can only be written by Dilbert enthusiast types with more time on their hands than ideas in their heads.

Cutting to the chase, this Happy Tree Friends DVD is essentially a collection of brightly coloured bizarre cartoon animals that look adorable and display quirky mannerisms in a fun and groovy way. Conversely, they reinact scenes of extreme violence, but sadly in a way that’s cuter than Care Bears and more sickly than Panda Pops.  There’s no real blood, there’s no explicit content, there’s no controversial images, no offensive dialogue and no real death.  It’s Itchy & Scratchy minus humour. It’s Ren & Stimpy without the ideas. It’s South Park on mute.

Happy Tree Friends is a comically void and ineffectually formulaic little Satan molesting freak creation, spawned by Microsoft lovers of the mid nineties.  I’m claiming back my Commodore 64 and regressing like the hermit I am back to a time when I could enjoy making a cup of tea safe in the knowledge my game was loading for at least twenty minutes whilst watching the neighbourhood become engulfed with the sort of zappy colours they have to write health warnings about.

Finally, if do you genuinely feel the need to invest in some chewing gum for the eyes, I’d recommend a strong hallucinogenic and to watch a cow. 

(1/5)

Release Date: 31 May 2004

Happy Tree Friends - Second Serving