Oh ‘eck, I’ve taken two weeks to get back to you. Trust me, it’s been a hectic 14 days but finally I can breathe a huge sigh of relief and pen my column to you. The fascination with Facebook is as strong as ever – food fights, getting poked, poking back, getting bitten for blood, tagging photos, joining groups, ranting in them and leaving when the novelty wears off. I don’t remember Myspace being half as much fun.  

So what have I been up to in the past fortnight? Would you roll your eyes if I told you one event involved the one and only Jon Snow? Damn straight I mean the uber-cool news anchorman. I saw him at a recording for Channel 4’s The Iraq Commission at the weekend and what a pro he is, switching from one autocue to another without garbling his words. I only wished I was the runner who straightened his tie before he came into the studio or even better, the make-up artist who kept giving him a touch-up in between the breaks.

What wasn’t fun were the security checks we had to go through for this recording due to the subject matter and the guests who were chairing the panels (Lords, Ladies, politicians both former and current). The buckles of my shoes set the alarms off but fortunately I did not have to hand them over or I’d have screamed. They’re from Kurt Geiger, don’t you know, which I have now appointed the best shoe shop ever. Fact. I’ve got to slow down with this shoe fetish I’ve developed. I just seem to move from one thing to another. Before it was hats, then eye-shadows…it’s like when I’ve exhausted one obsession (or acquired every colour possible), I move onto something else. I’ve already thought about expanding my umbrella collection…

It’s less than two weeks till I see Russell Brand. I hope it goes well, I hope I get there without any trouble and I hope it doesn’t rain because I am dying to wear one pair of my two sets of satin shoes. In the mean time, I will be filling the pages of uk-fusion.com with perfectly scribed reviews my wonderful writers have done so do repay them by reading each one with sincerity. If you have time, come and join me to congratulate our Emily who got hitched on Friday the 13th to her beau, Mr Todd Crickmore. Proper grown-up she is. Congratulations, lady. Now get on that plane to London for that damn honeymoon. See you next week. I’m officially tired.

Read previous editorials:

2007
2006
2005
2004