Now, let's establish one thing first - this isn't an entirely 'live' concert.  What we have here are the 10 squids rapping/singing live to a backing tape while hoards of screaming girls go bananas, and although Blazin' Squad can mutter indecipherable rhymes fairly quickly, they're absolutely awful when it comes to on-stage banter with the crowd.  "Diss song is...".  It's like sitting through an uncomfortable school assembly, as they push each word out with the same enthusiasm as running around the gym, barefoot and in their Y-fronts on a cold winter's day.  With no central heating.  And a hard wooden floor.

Mooching along in their baggy trousers, sweat-bands and trainers, it's an immensely dull run-through of such songs as 'Crossroads', 'Reminsce/ Where The Story Ends', 'All I Wanna Do Is Rap' (yes, really), 'Roll With It' (I'm guessing this isn't a cover of the Oasis record), 'Steam' (unfortunately a cover of the East 17 record - why?  Because they're from East London too?) and 'Love On The Line'.  

I had to hold my stomach in for the words to the latter: "Call me baby, we can get high/ come and get my love, girl....one, two, whacca gonna do?/ Stay at mine - sounds fine/ Say you're gonna feel me/ baby that can be 'frill' me/ up and down/ round and round/ call my number/ we'll make laaaaaaaaave on the li-iiiiiiii-ne".  Who can tell them it's not attractive to make their masturbation problem a public one?

I said this to someone other day, Blazin' Squad need a slap and should be put into quarantine until they've surpassed puberty.  They're like Gremlins - multiplying non-stop and totally ugly.  Then there's the speech impediment problem they've mysteriously inherited, which is worsened by splicing their words together to form incoherent sentences in the interview footage included.  Amazingly, nine of them still live at home and the thing they miss the most when on the road is home-cooked food.  

So, there we have it.  For £15, you get 80 minutes of such refined performers in glorious technicolour and surround sound.  Blazin' Squad live - as welcoming as a case of thrush.
(0/5)

Release Date: 17 November 2003