Unfortunately, that name’s already taken, so Goldie Lookin' Chain it is. They are a proper massive, numbering, at their latest count, 30. Their membership, however, seems to be as fluid as the US’ Wu-Tang Clan or the UK’s very own So Solid Crew.

One constant seems to be Eggsy who has been designated spokesman for this boy(o) band. He claims ‘Guns Don’t Kill People, Rappers Do’ “will put the proverbial moustache on the Tom Selleck that we call music.” Whatever that might mean.

Their universe is one where they wouldn’t been seen dead without sporting tacky leisure wear or bling-bling jewellery. As sold by Argos. Popular pastimes seem to include drinking on the street and smoking on an inexhaustible supply of spliffs. They’ve even invented their own language. My personal favourites from their stock of lunatic speak include “Bernie Cliftons” which translate as cigarettes and “cock socket” which means, oh, work it out for yourself. But their catchphrase remains “you knows it” which I believe, if I’m truly down with their peculiar vernacular, denotes an appreciation of the Goldie Lookin' Chain.

This single is a riot. As funny as anything put out by the Bloodhound Gang and catchy as anything released by respected UK hip-hop heads Urban Species. The KRS-1 ‘Sound of the Police’ sample is inspired. Despite the GLC’s background, this isn’t a criminal record. In fact, it’s a near-masterpiece. And you knows it.
(4½/5)

Release Date: 16 August 2004

Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do