I’m alright, thanks for asking (!)  Only a couple of things beginning with the letter ‘m’ have been getting on my wick lately.  First up is Mac, the cosmetics brand which I swear by and highly recommend even though I’m not getting any compensation from my endorsement!  I popped into their Soho branch last week and was kept waiting for 10 minutes just to pay.  At the till was a male sales assistant, emptying bags of loose change.  Eventually he looked up and mumbled “someone will be with you with very shortly” before dropping his miserable face down.  How rude!  Why couldn’t he have done the transaction seeing as he was the closest to the till?!! 

The rest of the shop’s staff were shuffling about, caked in psychedelic war-paint – clearly incompetent when it comes to operating a cash till.  I don’t know why I have so much patience, considering they do this to me every time I visit that particular branch.  Well, I emerged with a new lipstick shade called ‘Dense’, which is very nice.  It’s probably similar to five other shades I have actually…

The other ‘m’ thing is Marconi’s Voodoo.  Who or what is that, I hear you cry.  Only a rock band that were shooting their debut video over the weekend.  They chose none other than a university campus in London for the location and funnily enough, the same one I used to frequent in my days of further education.  How thoughtful to tell me all this and how thoughtful not to invite me.  Apparently I was deemed a distraction by the guitarist!  The nerve!  What was he expecting me to that would pose such a threat?  Apparently there was nudity and vaseline involved and the colour orange played a significant part.  Honest.  Come to think of it, it was probably a good omen I weren’t there.  If you’re usually awake at an ungodly hour of the night, you might see the video sandwiched between an 0898 ad on Channel 5.

I thought I’d unearth an old picture from the archives – thus we have Puddle Of Mudd’s Wes Scantlin with myself, taken two years ago.  As you can see, I looked about 15 then just as I do now!  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got work to do.