The Simple Life

Described as having "white hot sex appeal" (who hired this scriptwriter?), America's cream of the socialites Paris Hilton, "model", heiress to the Hilton hotel empire and Nicole, "daughter of Lionel" Richie (yeah, that's a priceless credential next to a catwalk clothes horse) move in with the deeply humble Leding family - three generations under one roof. 

The girls haven't stepped foot inside their temporary new home before the bombs drop and it's not just the family who are stunned by their arrival but the entire town as well.

Gasping at their room, Paris asks what the hole in the ground covered up with a grill is.  "It's a well", is the reply.  "What are wells for?", she asks.  More gormless goofs follow, mostly from Paris' mouth, which let's face it, is not surprising, considering what she's partial to getting her gums around. 

The purpose is to work a series of jobs but as the girls are fired from each one virtually after a day, the chances of finding new employment grow increasingly difficult and of course makes for essential viewing. Freely admitting to never having had a job (more amusingly confessing not knowing how to 'clock in'), the two possess no sense of duty or understanding to working their fingers to the bone and the consequences are unbelievable. Like a car crash, you are drawn into watch how the events unfold with some jaw-dropping moments.

Nicole is the smart one. She is down-to-earth, entertaining and willing to try her hand at anything - shoving her entire arm up a cow's arse, being shat on by a herd of them waiting to be milked and washing dogs' anal glands. What she isn't keen on is plucking chickens in which she famously uttered "I'm not plucking anything but my eyebrows".  

Paris couldn't be more different if she tried.  She's so dim and ill-mannered, yawning with her mouth open. Easily mistaken for a transvestite suffering from malnutrition (she has no curves, no hips and manly hands), the dippy air-head looks nothing like either of her parents - her mother must have been abducted and knocked up by aliens. She also inflicts animal cruelty on her pet Chihuahua, Tinkerbell - not just with that poncey name but dressing the miniature mutt in pink paw-shoes/slippers and other daft clothes.  

With bonus material including outtakes and a never-seen-before episode, believe it or not, this series is an absolute scream. They really are a couple of clueless girls from Beverley Hills yet they fight hard to get through. Seriously compulsive viewing, this is a cut above the rest of reality TV.  If there is anyone who will tug at your heart-strings, it's three-year-old Braxton Leding but by the end of the series, you'll have developed a soft spot for these blonde bimbos too.  
(4/5)

Release date: 19 April 2004