He had a brief spell at Rudolf Steiner school in Heanor, Derbyshire, where lessons included gardening and classroom chores required turning up at 7.30 am in the morning to milk the school’s goats, where he would have to manipulate the teats Rebecca-Loos style. Oddly enough, his school report did not mention the sheep incident.

Nottingham beckoned at the age of 11 before Matthew reached the grand old age of 18 and decided to move on. To Bath. But only for a year before returning to London. Matthew currently resides in Las Palmas, Gran Canaria and we miss him terribly!  So do the goats.

Being the caring human being that he is, it shouldn’t surprise you that Matthew is a vegetarian. Good news for the goats. Despite the odd pang now and again to pursue a career in breeding livestock, Matthew decided what he really wanted to do was to write. Since achieving that dream, he now has an extensive amount of experience in various fields and aspects of journalism and his hard work also earned him the title of 'sexy beast of a man' by the Trabant website.

Matthew loves Notting Hill carnival and music festivals. His favourite music includes David Bowie, The Silver Jews and Nick Cave but he loathes “pop pap” and Tories. That’s funny coming from a bloke who loves blue. Sorry, we meant ‘blues’ – he’s a fervent supporter of Chelsea FC. 

Matthew is also a bookworm, and he rates the likes of Paul Auster, Henry Miller, Charles Bukowski and Fyodor Dosteovsky amongst his favourites. What really gets on his wick is reality TV (The Farm is probably not his favourite programme), whiny nu-metal and emo bands, fascists and blockbuster films.

As if all that isn’t enough to sum up Matthew as the perfect gentleman, let it be known that he is the proud father to two little boys, Dani and Alex who, according to their daddy, are big Bowie fans.  Matthew, if you need a babysitter, give us a call.