The time has come to take my turn in the editorial seat

While Affie’s away the kids can play whilst she puts up her feet.

So Hey Ya! Af we say to you in the words of dear Outkast

We hope you had a blinding weekend and celebrated the end of your fast!

Well what a week it’s been for me, quite an emotional rollercoaster.

Some highs, some lows, that’s the way it goes like a poor piece of bread in a toaster!

The office is mental and my boss lost her rag.

The new sales guy’s a slob and makes me want to gag.

He’s also quite cocky and really bold as brass.

If he asks me again for his own stapler I will shove it up his arse!

He just doesn’t get the concept of clean.

He needs a visit from Kim and Aggie, just for words it’s too obscene.

There’s a village idiot at everyone’s work and he’s the very man.

He interrupts my boss at crucial points and that’s when the shit hits the fan!

Menstrual screaming bosses are not a pretty sight

And no amount of excuses save him, try as he might.

Why he’s still there I cannot really see, but one things for sure there’s no way I’d drink a cup of his scabby tea!

Other news on the planet – yes our country’s still under threat. 

With Dubya in power it’s no wonder, the guy is seriously wet.

In the world of showbiz there have been moments sad and happy.

With Posh expecting another sprog, she’ll be off buying Louis Vuitton nappies!

Things haven’t been so good for poor old Spencer Moon.

Allegations of his sexual preference made him overdose and slash his wrists in a hotel room.

Who would have thought the Eastenders star would have done that.

Mind you, with a drunken sister in law, she’s hardly a role model is our Kat!

In the world of music, I wonder if Bono knows he jumps from 3 to 14 at the beginning of Vertigo?

Maybe he just can’t count, or his Spanish is really crap.

All jokes aside however they’ve bounced right back with a cracking track.

I’ll tell you who does get on my nerves and they are called McFly.

What is with their sheepdog hair, covering their eyes?

The worst one has to be, the blonde one they call Tom,

A mini Gary Barlow – something has seriously gone wrong!

Give me my Busted boys any time of the day and I would be their airhostess if there were any way!

So what is happening this week?

Well it’s the opening of Bridget Jones.

Thousands of BJ fans will flock to the cinema from their homes.

I don’t know how Renée does it from voluptuous to skinny rake.

I pile on the pounds myself just by looking at a piece of cake!

On a more solemn note, lest us not forget.

The importance of remembrance of those whom death they met.

We wore our poppies proud for our ancestors been and gone.

For heroic deeds they did perform and in spirit which they won.

Now’s the time we should reflect and dispel all our greed.

And look to Friday this week where we can help some desperate children in need.

So all that remains for me to say is thank you for your time.

I’m off to disinfect the office before we appear on A Life Of Grime

Please take care and have yourselves a wonderful week.