While the press and religious groups whip themselves into a frenzy over that tool Harry wearing a swastika at a party, I wonder where the fiery redhead (who bears an uncanny resemblance to that redhead James Hewitt) gets his genes from. Seriously, he can’t be that thick, can he? He figured out how to pass his exams with a little ‘help’ and surely he’s aware his dippy grandfather Prince Philip’s four sisters were married to Nazis and Nazi sympathisers, so why do we still have a sodding monarchy? They’re a just bunch of sanctimonious and insensitive spongers.

When news broke of the tsunami in Asia, they were too busy hunting. Told off for not getting their act together, they sent Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee (William and Harry) to pack a few boxes for the appeal rather than dipping into their pockets and donating towards the fund. God knows they’re not short of a few bob!

Unless you too share the same number of brain cells as Harry, you should have twigged I’m not a fervant supporter of the monarchy. I don’t understand how those in favour claim the royal family attract tourists to the country when France, a republic, generates the largest number of visitors to its country every year. Fact. So Harry’s the new Fergie (making a tit of himself as opposed to his ex-aunt getting hers out), do we need a verbal apology when it would be simpler to do without them altogether? If you back the royal family, what do YOU get out of it? Nada! And that Princess Anne is such a dog. Pity the fool who has to wake up next to her each morning.

Moving on swiftly! Boy band Busted (a poor man’s Blink 182) announced their demise last week, which by the speed good news travels fast these days was no surprise. Countless pop groups have split up but have been pipped to the finishing line by the news being leaked in the press, hence a hasty press conference where the announcement is made official. Except this one was full of tears – largely big girl’s blouse Matt blubbing. How my heart goes out to him. Only a few months ago he and other band mate James (erm, how do I know their names?) were sitting in the row in front of me at a Blink 182 concert (sans the other one) and I never forget deliberately walking past Matt after the gig so I could cop a good look at how spotty his face was. Actually Matt and James aren’t that bad to look at, it’s bushy-eyebrowed and posh boy Charlie, the Yoko Ono of the band, who is hideous. I noticed how every report mentioned Charlie drove off in his “4x4 BMW” after the press conference while the other two were probably left to make their own way home on the tube.

Any way, it’s not all good news – they’re vowing to make a come-back with their own respective bands and already Charlie's band is getting far too much exposure. Stop it! Until then, we have to suffer with McFly…and don’t get me started on that other bushy-eyebrowed ponce. He’s got that Gary Barlow thing going on…