Would you just look at me! Straight off a catwalk (or off a page from Freemans catalogue) modelling the hottest accessory since this weekend. D’ya like it? I got stopped in public so many times as oglers wanted to know how or where I had got hold of such a cool handbag. Or maybe they were just curious as to why I was carrying what resembles a child’s lunchbox.

Well, Mojo and myself toddled off to a screening for upcoming animated flick Robots (pants title) held in one of the many cinemas in London’s Leicester Square and we almost walked into Jonathan Ross, his wife Jane Goldman and their three kids. Actually, Jane was the first one we caught sight of (you can’t exactly miss her with her hot pink coloured tresses).

Quickly being ushered into a room, we were hit with kids (loads of them), running around with these shiny tin boxes. Some were having their face painted. I offered Mojo the chance to have her brush with face paint but she politely declined.

As we looked on enviously, the thought of mugging one of these kids for a lunchbox crossed my mind until we found one each waiting for us inside the cinema hall. Result! So we went home with big smiles on our faces and the film wasn’t that bad either!

What wasn’t good at all was the appalling service we got in Bella Italia in Leicester Square. We were made to wait over an hour for our main course, which would be fine if the place was heaving and that the table behind us, which arrived 45 minutes after us, weren't served first. Even more outrageous was how many people had more than one waitress dishing out their orders. When I politely asked about our food, the waitress flicked her head up and sauntered off moodily. Well missy, that is precisely why you didn’t get a tip! Tsk.

So, Jordan/Katie Price (thank the Lord) didn’t win the contest on Saturday to represent the UK in the Eurovision Song Contest in May. I fancied some fried chicken at the time so nipped out to the nearest fast-food joint, which is why I missed her show-stopping performance. Did she really sing out of tune? Javine, who won with a song which would have gone down great three years ago (round about the time when Shakira was famous), wasn’t doing any favours with that horrible dress. She kept fiddling with it so not surprisingly, her right tit fell out (*cringe*). Why wear it in the first place? I’m still retching over Jordan’s tight neon pink catsuit. Yuck! Oh, I mean “eeeeow!” as Amy Lee from Evanescence says. I came across an Evanescence forum which had picked up on the interview I did with Amy last year.

Between themselves, they managed to concoct some brilliant conspiracy theories about how genuine the interview was. I was reliably informed that there was no way Amy could utter the immortal word “eeeeeow!” and slag off groupies, how she had not met her boyfriend Shaun Morgan from Seether on a tour bus and many decided I had made the whole thing up! I must have been on something at the time but I swear I had talked to her on the phone and had recorded every word she had said which I duly transcribed and presented in the final piece. That must have been some weird trip I was on (!) So how come I have an audio tape with the interview on it? How bizarre! 

It couldn’t get any worse than a 17-year-old boy certifying no part of the interview was true, so I wasn’t going to let this one go. I could live with the interview being criticised but to actually state it was made up pissed me off so much. What sodding proof do THEY have? Arsewipes. Needless to say, they promptly removed the interview (and topic on the messageboard) after I kicked up a stink and still, nobody apologised. Losers.