There’s a party in my pants – well, there was one last week when I saw Kasabian at Ally Pally. Wow, they blew me away, made me vibrate all over. (Oi, behave!) I’m impressed! I can’t remember the last time I went to such a fantastic gig. Very good, boys and I especially like the one with the long hair and beard. Oh yeah, I’m supposed to mention all this in the live review but any way!

Was a little concerned when a bunch of blokes decided to take pity on my frame and push me in front of them so I could get a better view (of other tall bodies), before one proceeded to talk to me at every interval. I suppose he was looking out for me, making sure I was having a good time and holding me back whenever I was about to be trodden on. Why me? How and why do I manage to attract strange folk?! No one else was picked on that night! Ah well. By the way, the quality of service at the bars at Alexandra Palace is shockingly poor. Finding it hard to locate where the queue began, I gave up on the idea of getting a drink. Honestly, it was like being squished in a cattle market – just didn’t know where to turn.

Full marks for observation to those who noticed the new editorial is a day late. Why? Because yesterday was a bank holiday. Bank holiday weekends in the UK usually means roaring trade for DIY and garden centres up and down the country and sure enough, I (had to) succumb because me ol’ Flymo died and therefore I needed a replacement. So, off I trotted to Homebase (who now use Natasha Bedingfield’s ‘These Words’ in their adverts – why?!!), picked out the model I liked only to be told they didn’t have it in stock. Well, it begs the obvious question as to why bother putting the product on display when you don't have it in stock, you fools?!!!  I also needed a replacement spool thingy for my strimmer (look at me being all technical and horticultural…) but did they have that in stock? Hell, no! They had sod all! Erm, is there any significance to Homebase staying open? The people who work there seemingly can’t be bothered, and trying to find one is seemingly difficult when they blend into the green décor with their equally green uniform.

In the end, I had to drive to rival store B&Q (which was a fair distance and consequently not as local as Homebase to me) where the staff were extremely helpful, with two blokes trying to find me the strimmer wire that I needed and another insisting on pushing the trolley to my car and putting the lawnmower inside the boot. I saved £20 too! And I got a more powerful model than the one for sale in Homebase. I just had to share that all with you.

So, this week is pretty significant if you live in UK and are eligible to vote because 5 May is the general election. Blair or Howard? Labour or Conservative? Well it’s a case of which is the lesser of two evils and do you know, neither are! But don’t let that put you off if you’re going to vote on Thursday – give some other party/candidate your support and use your vote, dammit!  Those who moan about the state of British politics and the government and never vote really get on my – well, you know. Face it, you have no voice if you don’t vote!

I’ve already voted – postal stylee. I know Blair will win, but I reckon he will be walking (out of office) very soon if his war antics catch up with him. Mind you, I’m not looking forward to seeing the same old tosspots back in the cabinet especially David Blunkett. Let the nation take pity on a poor blind man while he diddles someone else’s missus. The swine! Urgh! And what did the daft bint see in him any way?! (No pun intended.) And why did her stupid husband take her back?! These people are mad! Mad, I tell you, mad! After all that, I think I need a lie-down…