Well, I experienced something new last week – I bought contact lenses over the internet and they were delivered the next day! I also saved a few quid on top of that too and the price included postage, packing and delivery. I’m impressed! Beats trekking to my local optician and having to collect my lenses not to mention paying much more for them.

I was conned out of paying about £40 for some contact-lense after-care nonsense by my new optician, allegedly a service where they should check my eyes regularly for any signs of infections, etc. Oh really? Well that was almost 6 months ago and I’ve had no call-up at all. I suppose I could have had laser-eye treatment to correct my sight if I look back at how much I’ve spent on lenses in the 11 years I’ve been wearing them. God, it’s not fair – I hate people who have 20-20 vision.

So – let me just let out a huge yawn here – Tony Blair’s back at number 10. Did we actually have an election last week? Nothing’s changed then? What a cop-out. I don’t know why everyone talks about the election happening every four years. It’s not supposed to be every four years, it’s only happened every four years because Tony chooses to hold an election that often instead of waiting for the full term of FIVE years to be over. We’re not the USA. Reckon someone will have the guts to tap Tony on the shoulder and remind him of that small but all important fact? At this rate he might not be around for much longer. Kewl! Party at my place if he steps down…

By the way, tragedy has struck in the Dickos abode, where Emily’s mother’s pooch has developed a penchant for eating Emily’s knickers and the mucky mutt chooses to dine on the best pairs too! Therefore Emily has requested to be supplied with replacements by anyone who feels generous enough to shell out. Nothing below Victoria’s Secrets, please.

Tomorrow is Mojo’s birthday (many happy returns, babe!), and here she is modelling (OK, holding up) an exquisitely sexy looking night dress, a truly heart-felt gift for the birthday girl from a loved one – and that’s not me. Or her boyfriend. Are you quite sure you want to give that away to a charity shop, love? Might be worth hanging on to it – could cover up that huge hole in the o-zone layer for starters. Hope you have a fantastic week, marking another year on this planet. Let's hope I don't fall on my arse on Saturday...

I saw The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy on the weekend, and er, wasn’t blown away. Could someone who loved it tell me what was so good about it? Even Martin Freeman didn’t measure up to his usual standard like his role as Tim in The Office. Ah, I’ve been watching the series on DVD recently and he’s so lovely in it. I think it’s his over-grown school boy hair that does it for me. And his cutting-edge put-downs on weedy Gareth. Ah, he’s so lovely. I want to hug him.

Right, I'm off to do something useful like write some more reviews. I hope you appreciate that. See you next week, maybe.