So let’s start with a subject close to me – so close that he sits opposite me. ‘twas Jonathan’s birthday last week (along with James’), for which we were instructed to make our way to a drinking establishment in Holland Park to mark the happy occasion…but not before Jonathan joyfully donned on a bandana just to reiterate how cool Bon Jovi are to him.

Jon even lent me two of their albums, which I humbly downloaded to my iRiver. Rock on! Erm…but let me tell you something, Jonathan, ‘Bed Of Roses’ is awful, just awful! How can you claim Crossroads is a ‘quality’ album with THAT on its tracklisting? But, the bandana suits you well, sir…I think perhaps you could start a new trend. Poser.

My extremely stylish straw Stetson made an appearance on the night, on many drunken heads (see appropriate illustrated photographs) and now I’m mourning the demise of the once über-cool headgear which, as a result of such big-headed folk attempting to try it on, now resembles something that wouldn’t look out of place if I were a farmer. Can't believe that hat cost me £20 and all...and it hardly lasted two months!

Someone even suggested that all I needed was a straw to chew on (I think that was you, Andy Berks!) and that would complete the picture – charming! Mind you, I got another ‘Yee-hah!’ from a passer-by as I left the pub that evening. I get a lot of that whenever I wear that hat – you know, ‘friendly’ verbal abuse. It’s quite nice actually, because it means people don’t have anything better to do than to pick on me and I’d like to think that I brightened up their dull day just by unwittingly encouraging them to notice me.

So, back to that night in Holland Park, and an important date was set – the Cluedo crew unanimously agreed to a game on Friday – that’s myself, Andy, Jonathan and Steve (pictured below with Jonathan looking on longingly as Steve whips off his jacket with such masculinity. Control yourself, Jonathan...)

Steve started off this whole competitiveness of trying to win at Cluedo each time, and thinks himself as some sort of reigning champion, when he’s really only won the game once. Any way, the big day arrived, all of us quite excitedly at the prospect of picking which character we’d like to be until Jonathan dropped the bombshell that he wouldn’t be participating. Because he had to play tennis instead. Cue a stroppy Steve going off in a huff while I tried to wrestle with the thought of playing tennis in the hot heat as far more appealing than sitting in a bar at lunch time, playing Cluedo. Thanks a lot, Hungo (!) I was really getting into the spirit of Cluedo and you had to throw down your racket in defiance. Pah!

It wasn't all that bad though. I only saw Damon Albarn in the bar downstairs, looking quite podgy. He was about to sit down to enjoy a cup of tea. I did have my camera but felt a bit sheepish to approach him when he looked like he was having a very important business meeting.

Well, I trust you all had a splendid weekend. I spent most of it lying horizontal on a very comfortable mattress (for periods of 12 hours) but I managed to venture out in the scorching heat for a few errands...and I returned with a new straw Stetson. Damn right, I vowed to get another after my first one was brutally sabotaged but I never imagined it would be so soon. I'm well chuffed! It's so lovely! And none of you are ever getting your mitts on it, d'ya hear me?!! Right, time I gave it a public viewing – am off to parade it on the streets of London. See you next week!