Gosh, what a week it’s been! Hang on a sec, need to think what actually happened. Erm…oh yes! London fell victim to another terrorist attack that very nearly could have been as serious as the first one – has certainly made my journey home a nightmare with train cancellations and delays and it’s largely the sodding Thameslink rail service. I mean, what’s their excuse when the London Underground is coping as best as it can with little disruption to the tube line services?

This morning, the train driver announced that the choo-choo ahead had broken down at the next station. That’s just great, isn’t it (?) And last week, I had to wait (with a bunch of other commuters) 35 minutes for a train following the cancellation of one and another being too full. Like sardines crammed into an extremely tiny tin. Nice! I always emerge from the squished carriage like I’ve had a rough night and have just woken up in the same clothes I was wearing the night before.

Saw Wedding Crashers last week, which was good fun though probably more so for Jonathan who was flanked by two ladies (erm, me being one of them). You coped very well, Hungo. Well done! I don’t think I could fault Jonathan – he’s kind, courteous and doesn’t squirm at wearing a bandana but there is one teeny weeny thing that he regularly offends with and that is chewing his fingers when looking very pensively at his monitor. God knows I feed him sufficiently so why does he feel the need to gnaw at his digits?! It is going to be quiet round here this week as Jon’s going on holiday – to Tuscany no less. Ooh, get you! Will have to find someone else to pick on in his absence. *blub*

The Ashes got off to a roaring start last week – that’s the legendary cricket series between England and Australia in case some of you hadn’t a clue and believe me, there are some clueless individuals. And erm, we were thrashed by the Aussies. Wiped out in less than three days and not helped by spinner Shane Warne. He’s quite notorious, that Warne. Apart from the fact that he can pack a record number of baked bean tins into his suitcase (and his stomach no doubt), he can nab a few wickets too. The man ought to be saluted – where he finds the time to score on the pitch and off (yuck!) should be a lesson to the England team.

Closer to (my) home, I think there has been a death in my road – well, something very serious happened late last night/early this morning. A house has been sealed off and there's a policeman guarding the scene of the crime. Wa-hey! All I could see was broken glass on the drive way and the front door wide open. A girl walking in front of me (who kept turning round to look at me the closer I got – God, why do people look at me suspiciously? I can’t help it if they dawdle and I want to walk quickly to get to the station on time!) slowed down to gawp at the portly copper, and consequently I walked into her. Tsk! Honestly, some people!

I never liked the inhabitants who lived in that house (or live!) – full of unsavoury looking tenants who would perv at me as I walked past. One guy in particular would pace up and down outside the front door, on the phone at all hours of the day and night. It’s like, go inside and make your phone calls there like most people do! And they’ve painted the front room’s wall Ketchup red! And they don’t have any net curtains. Plus they always play loud (awful) music. Bet they had a drunken brawl or something. God, is anywhere safe these days?!

OK, that’s me done and dusted and I’ve done a couple of reviews too. Make sure you read them. And oh, don’t forget our exclusive interview with El Presidente.

Read previous editorials:

2005
2004